Lou Sanders tells Nick Grimshaw about her first book What’s That Lady Doing?

Virgin Radio

19 Aug 2023, 16:48

Lou Sanders joined Nick Grimshaw on The Graham Norton Radio Show with Waitrose to talk about her new memoir and how writing it helped her deal with shame.

We all make mistakes in life and Lou Sanders wants to normalise this with her first book, What’s That Lady Doing?

In the memoir, the 37-year-old reflects on her experiences growing up, including when she got arrested and when she became addicted to boys and alcohol.

Speaking about the book to Nick Grimshaw, who is covering The Graham Norton Show with Waitrose throughout August, Sanders said: “I just thought I’d write from the heart and try to sort of abolish my shame and then hopefully help other people doing the same.

"I wrote it because I wanted it to be a book that people could give their goddaughters, as a kind of manifest of how not to live and how to get over mistakes if you’ve made them.

"There’s some heavy stuff in there but I’ve tried to make it very funny,” she added.

After admitting that he “couldn’t stop reading it”, Grimshaw asked Sanders about an experience mentioned in the book, where she organised a party for a boy that she had fancied for six or seven years, all to find out that he didn’t remember her.

Reflecting on her addiction to boys, the comedian explained: “I talk a bit about how I don’t think either of my dads was particularly thrilled with me, but we had a really good relationship in later life.

"I love my dads very much but I never felt particularly loved as a kid so I formed addictions to boys first of all before alcohol, and I would follow [them] home."

Recalling one particular incident, Sanders said: "Something kicked in and I was like ‘Oh, here we go’, so a week later I called for him, I was 13 or something, but he was like 19 [or] 20 and [probably] thought who's this child with acne calling on my door [asking], 'Do you wanna hang out?'.

"I'd wear like a leotard and leggings to school so he would notice me,” she continued. “It was quite a small town little school. Everyone was like, 'What's she doing?'.”

The stand-up comedian also spoke to Grimshaw about the writing process and how it felt to share stories from her past.

"It’s really embarrassing but I feel like in society, there’s too much shame and I think if you tell your stories of how you’ve disgraced yourself - I don’t mean disgraced yourself and instantly laugh about it, I mean all the horrible things that you’ve had done to you and done to other people, you have to process them, forgive yourself, forgive the other people, and then you can laugh about them.

"I had a breakdown halfway through because at the end of the book I talk about that year from hell last year, living my worst life,” Sanders revealed. “The book was on hold for a little bit but you know, here we are. It’s interesting life, isn't it?”

What’s That Lady Doing? By Lou Sanders is available to buy in bookstores now.

Nick Grimshaw will continue to present The Graham Norton Radio Show every Saturday AND Sunday from 9.30 am throughout August. Listen on Virgin Radio or catch up on demand here.